Ra-DIK-uh-lus.

Okay. Here's the deal.

You know how I said I don't get asked on dates? Well, it's total bull.

I've had at least one date every week since moving back to Provo.

I think the reason I felt like I didn't, was because I'm used to being the girlfriend. I'm a girlfriend girl. I kind of always have been. I like having a boyfriend. I like the stability and the consistency of being a girlfriend. In the past four and a half years of my life, I think I've been a girlfriend more than I haven't. I'll have to think more in depth about that to find out for sure, but I'll get back to you.

Anyway, going from being a girlfriend to... nothing... at Aspen Grove- weird. And definitely made me feel like I NEVER go on dates. Because all summer, I didn't.

What I'm saying is, I'm not complaining. I am thoroughly enjoying! ("Chet's arguing! I'm enjoying!")

The only complaint I am having, is that I seem to be going on an endless stream of first dates, to have the guys vanish off my radar... I call it the "Vanishing Problem." I get asked on a first date, have a great time, and think/hear/am told that the guy had a great time too. Eagerly, I await the second date call. And it never comes. (Okay, never say never, Justin Bieber, Miss Frizzle, etc, but seriously.) Examples? Cupcake Boy. Mr. Butler. Air Force Cadet. TECHNICALLY, David. We never went on a second 'date.' Oh wait, yeah we did. After we broke up.

Wait, I lied. I have another complaint. The guys who DO call/ask for a second date... not really feelin' it. (Not that I'm saying I AM feeling it with the other guys, or that I didn't have a great time with them... digging hole...) I mean, I'm perfectly willing to go on another date with them, but I generally don't see things going anywhere, for one reason or another.

For example - How I Met Your Mother. Such a great guy. I had so much fun. Just not really feeling it. It's honestly nothing against him, because we're friends. I'm not going to say "he's not my type," but he's not really the rock climbing, horseback riding, Grand Slam-ing type. And let's face it, I need to have a husband who can keep up with all of my crazy-ness.

Example number two- So much more complicated. Ugh, so much more complicated.

Friday night, blind date with Air Force Cadet #2. I have no idea what else to call him. Fuji Bike Man? I don't know. Anyway, such a great date. We went to HumorU and then Costa Vida. He is a great guy, and I had a really good time. We're going for a bike ride today, and going out again this coming Friday. Wait, what's the problem? He's a solid three inches shorter than me. :( I am so angry with the universe right now, I could throw rocks at it.

A few people have told me that height isn't/shouldn't be a big deal. I know it isn't for some girls. I'm not one of those girls. I wish I could shrug my shoulders and say, "Hey, I'll get over it." But I can't. I've kissed guys that are shorter than me, and it's so weird. Like I said, I'm not one of those girls who's chill with it. I thoroughly enjoy wearing heels. I thoroughly enjoy looking up into my boyfriend's face when we hug. Same height.... iffy. But shorter? It just... it's weird to me.

I WISH IT WEREN'T. Because, if I'm being honest, I like this kid. As much as one can after one date. It's so frustrating. I want to just shrug it off and see where it goes.

So here's my plan, and he's aware of this. It might make me a selfish bitch, but... I'm going to wait until either the liking him or the height thing overtakes the other. It may seem terrible, and the friend who set us up thinks I'm ridiculous, but it's just... important to me. The good thing is, he was aware of this before asking me on dates two and three. Because let's be honest, this bike ride is a date.

Another thing, I've been told not to give up on Mr. Butler.

Part of me kind of wishes I could give up dating until my mission... and relationship wise, I probably have.

Sigh.