Thursday, June 21, 2012

Twi & La.

Push & Pull.

I'm stuck in the middle and I'm not really sure if either is happening to me at the moment.

I have a sort of love-hate relationship with my life right now. I do very little, and I both hate and love that I do very little. When I sit around playing video games, sometimes I think, "man, this is nice" and other times I think, "why am I wasting my time on video games?" When I don't work and sleep until one in the afternoon I wake up and sometimes think, "I love sleeping in!" but other times I think, "well there's half the day gone, now what?" I'll be up for less than eight hours of daylight, and even when I am up for those hours, I usually spend them inside, with the blinds drawn to keep the sun from warming up the place.

I'm in this weird place that I don't want to be in, but I don't want to get out of either. Life continues on around me and I just watch it. Sometimes I step in for a moment and I enjoy it, but I know it's not going to last and that spoils it. Often times it tires me out and I retreat to my sedentary lifestyle.

What am I doing? And why? And how do I get out?

If not for Chris and Quidditch, I don't think I'd ever do anything. Thank the heavens for them both.