Growl.

Ugh, I just discovered that one of my stupid coworkers who shall remain unnamed *cough* CHANCE *cough* deleted the post about my weekend last weekend, after I'd already spent a ton of time on it. 'Recap.' I even posted it! But then he posted over it, because I accidentally left it open at work... yes, never making that mistake again. I know he didn't do it to be malicious, I'm just irritated now.

I already did a recap of recap, so whatever. To clarify, 'whole weekend with Chris' consists of me staying at one of my favorite Crimson Fliers' apartments and then getting together with Chris in the morning. It works, and it makes the weekend way better than if I had to go back to Provo. And it's nice to have someone I know/like to stay with, rather than "Hey, ummmmmm.... can my boyfriend crash at your apartment? K thanks."

Anyway, I made it to Carlsbad safe and sound, obviously. Had a positively lovely day at the beach, and told my mom that Chris and I are dating. Way less scary than I expected. Actually, she brought it up. She was like, "So, are you guys dating?" I was so relieved to be able to say yes with a smile on my face. I've been 'trying' extra hard to be cheerful, it really hasn't been that difficult. It's a little frustrating because something about being around my parents/family seems to bring out the crabby in me, but I think I've done fairly well at not being a snot while not being overbearingly, "Oh I'm so twitterpated and sappy and oh I miss my boyfriend so much!" Aka mature. Although I do miss him like CRAZY, I wish he were here so bad. I think I now have a small grasp of what he meant when he would say he wished I was with him in New York. Seriously though, having him here would accomplish a lot. One, we'd get to be together, in San Diego! Two, he'd get to meet/interact with all of the most important people in my life, and they could pass judgment before I'm too crazy about him to care what they think (oh wait... too late). Three, beaching is a complex and frequent activity in my family, and I'd be able to make sure that my beaching style is compatible with his. (Spurts of intense activity mixed into a day of lying around doing jack squat.) Some people don't like to just lay around all day, while others aren't huge fans of the ocean, while yet others DO like to just lay around all day. These things are not necessarily deal breakers, but I couldn't marry someone who hated the ocean. Thankfully I already know that Chris most definitely does not hate the ocean, or the beach. (He wants to go to med school at UCLA, that's a good sign I think.)

After the beach we went to the pool/hot tub. Again, shouldn't have to explain why I want Chris with me. (UGH, I always end up accidentally typing his real name, and being sad when I have to correct, because his real name is sexy. Seriously.) Dinner with the fam, then home for Cars 2 and eventually games.

Part of my wanting Chris here is totally selfish; I'm wicked tired of being the odd one out. My brothers have both been married for years (one for five and one for two) and so I've been the 'third/fifth/seventh/ninth wheel' for... a while. I know I shouldn't be dramatic about it, but it's getting old. Really old. It's honestly one of the things I'm mostly looking forward to concerning marriage - having someone on family vacations. Well, heck, not being alone anymore period, not just on family vacations. I've always been the 'buddy' type of person in that I'm fine to be alone, but I like to have that one person that I'm really close with. Especially in the family vacation setting, because I won't get treated like a terrible person for going off 'on my own.' Seriously, that especially is getting old. So what if I want to do my own thing for a little bit? Is that such a crime when I'm guaranteed to be with you people for at least four full days? Constantly? I'm not really much of the family vacation type anyway, so when I get 'chewed out' for wanting some alone time, it just gets on my nerves. When I have a husband though, we can go do our own thing and it will be totally acceptable! FINALLY.

Another part is just because I want to be with him ALL THE TIME. I know it's a little ridiculous, but if I could just drop everything and go on a dating honeymoon with him for like.... forever.... I'd be pretty happy. Alas, that's never going to happen. Seriously though, I want to be with this boy constantly. It's kind of crazy. But I like it. :)