But seriously. For me it was more of a continued realization of how defensive/protective I am of the people I care about. A brief example, somebody close to my dad recently took advantage of him and his goodness. I won't go into detail, but I am still completely FURIOUS. When I think about it, I literally have to unclench my fists and jaw. And the worst part? I am completely HELPLESS. Which infuriates me even more. Seriously, it makes me blood literally boil. I'm not Polynesian, but you know how when you piss off a Poly they get that scary glint in their eyes and you know you'd better run the heck away before they kill you? Yeah, that's one bit of Poly I have. If you mess with 'my people' enough, I WILL want to kill you. And when I have my concealed carry permit... I might just bust a cap in your knee.
Another example. Some friends of my roommate just totally betrayed her. I am livid. I know of them, and I seriously want to just go deck them in the faces. I know it's irrational, but I am fiercely loyal, and fiercely protective. YOU DO NOT MESS WITH MY FRIENDS. Or most especially, my family.
At Aspen Grove this summer, we had this little running joke of 'who would you want to fight/not want to fight?' Three guesses who was at the top of every girl's list, and admittedly a couple of guys'. I probably don't even need to tell you the sense of pride that fills me with. At the same time though, I do worry about my 'intimidation' factor. I've been told by many people that I'm intimidating, especially to guys. I try not to be, I'm really not a scary person. Until you mess with my friends/family or do something really idiotic/fury inducing, there's not anything to be afraid of.
Honestly though, it takes a lot to make me REALLY mad. I'm pretty easily irritated; it's something I've been trying to work on, and my bluntness can occasionally come across as sharpness/anger. But to get me truly, blood boiling, IMMA KILL YOU mad? It's legitimately difficult.
I guess what I mean by telling you all this, is that if you're one of those people I would consider a friend, know that when things go wrong, I've got your back. Unless getting your back means I go to prison. Which, for hopefully understandable reasons, you can understand.
On a different note! You know that stupid pickup line "Are you tired? 'Cuz you've been runnin' through my mind all day"? It's kind of actually super accurate. Haha, I'm funny, huh. But seriously, my cheeks are legitimately tired from smiling so much (I can't help it!) and my brain is just like... yeah. Chris and I have been talking so much, it's a little ridiculous. We only stop to sleep. Or when we're in class. It's crazy, there's just always SO MUCH to talk about! It's kind of crazy for me. I mean, I LOVE to talk, it's ridiculous, but I don't think I've ever had such great conversation that lasts. It's just so... great. My dear FHE sister and friend Amanda said she "has a hunch" about us. I try not to think about that. It's still way too early for ANYTHING, we're not even dating yet! But we do get along really well, and we've been talking quite a bit for more than a month. Plus, two dates and planned third date = promising. :) Trying to stay calm. Getting my hopes up hasn't tended to end well. But I know I like him, and I'm pretty sure it's mutual. Ah! I like being twitterpated.
Last note! My new helmet/goggles came today, HOLY FLY.
Typical mirror pic, yeah, I know. But seriously, for like the first time in my life, I'm going to be the one with the "cool, new, hot" gear. Do you have any idea how stoked I am about that? Smith Pro Deal, you are on the top of my list forEVER. Too bad I only got you once in my life. :( Totally worth it though. Freakishly worth it. Ahhhh I'm so stoked.
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