Ra-DIK-uh-lus.

Okay. Here's the deal.

You know how I said I don't get asked on dates? Well, it's total bull.

I've had at least one date every week since moving back to Provo.

I think the reason I felt like I didn't, was because I'm used to being the girlfriend. I'm a girlfriend girl. I kind of always have been. I like having a boyfriend. I like the stability and the consistency of being a girlfriend. In the past four and a half years of my life, I think I've been a girlfriend more than I haven't. I'll have to think more in depth about that to find out for sure, but I'll get back to you.

Anyway, going from being a girlfriend to... nothing... at Aspen Grove- weird. And definitely made me feel like I NEVER go on dates. Because all summer, I didn't.

What I'm saying is, I'm not complaining. I am thoroughly enjoying! ("Chet's arguing! I'm enjoying!")

The only complaint I am having, is that I seem to be going on an endless stream of first dates, to have the guys vanish off my radar... I call it the "Vanishing Problem." I get asked on a first date, have a great time, and think/hear/am told that the guy had a great time too. Eagerly, I await the second date call. And it never comes. (Okay, never say never, Justin Bieber, Miss Frizzle, etc, but seriously.) Examples? Cupcake Boy. Mr. Butler. Air Force Cadet. TECHNICALLY, David. We never went on a second 'date.' Oh wait, yeah we did. After we broke up.

Wait, I lied. I have another complaint. The guys who DO call/ask for a second date... not really feelin' it. (Not that I'm saying I AM feeling it with the other guys, or that I didn't have a great time with them... digging hole...) I mean, I'm perfectly willing to go on another date with them, but I generally don't see things going anywhere, for one reason or another.

For example - How I Met Your Mother. Such a great guy. I had so much fun. Just not really feeling it. It's honestly nothing against him, because we're friends. I'm not going to say "he's not my type," but he's not really the rock climbing, horseback riding, Grand Slam-ing type. And let's face it, I need to have a husband who can keep up with all of my crazy-ness.

Example number two- So much more complicated. Ugh, so much more complicated.

Friday night, blind date with Air Force Cadet #2. I have no idea what else to call him. Fuji Bike Man? I don't know. Anyway, such a great date. We went to HumorU and then Costa Vida. He is a great guy, and I had a really good time. We're going for a bike ride today, and going out again this coming Friday. Wait, what's the problem? He's a solid three inches shorter than me. :( I am so angry with the universe right now, I could throw rocks at it.

A few people have told me that height isn't/shouldn't be a big deal. I know it isn't for some girls. I'm not one of those girls. I wish I could shrug my shoulders and say, "Hey, I'll get over it." But I can't. I've kissed guys that are shorter than me, and it's so weird. Like I said, I'm not one of those girls who's chill with it. I thoroughly enjoy wearing heels. I thoroughly enjoy looking up into my boyfriend's face when we hug. Same height.... iffy. But shorter? It just... it's weird to me.

I WISH IT WEREN'T. Because, if I'm being honest, I like this kid. As much as one can after one date. It's so frustrating. I want to just shrug it off and see where it goes.

So here's my plan, and he's aware of this. It might make me a selfish bitch, but... I'm going to wait until either the liking him or the height thing overtakes the other. It may seem terrible, and the friend who set us up thinks I'm ridiculous, but it's just... important to me. The good thing is, he was aware of this before asking me on dates two and three. Because let's be honest, this bike ride is a date.

Another thing, I've been told not to give up on Mr. Butler.

Part of me kind of wishes I could give up dating until my mission... and relationship wise, I probably have.

Sigh.

Smashed.

My leg.

By my TV.

No, seriously. I turned my back on it and it POUNCED. Like a tiger.
And it totally creamed my leg.

This picture does the bruise NO JUSTICE, in addition to making my totally not fat leg look fat.

Anyway, my leg hurts, and the pouncing tiger is dead. Kind of. It clicks a lot when you try to turn it on, and that's all that happens.

BUT!

My roommates are freakin' awesome.

You are looking at 32 inches of beautiful, baby. I love you guys.

So, anyway, on another kind of not-so-happy-but-has-a-happy-ending note, my computer is almost dead. I am blaming myITlab. You suck, iSys. You really suck. Seriously, you suck the life out of everything. Me, my beloved Dell... So anyway, because I'd really rather not have my computer die on me when I'm smack dab in the middle of a COMPUTER class, and then have to replace it in a panic and write frantic emails to my professor about how my computer died and oh my gosh, please give me some time to turn stuff in! Does that sound fun to you? Yeah, me neither. 

After several days (intense days, mind you) of research, I found THE PERFECT COMPUTER. To sum up- Toshiba, 17 inch screen, full number keypad (oh, how that will make my Excel class SO MUCH BETTER!) included on my BACKLIT keyboard (HUZZAH!), 6gb ram, 640gig hard drive, NVIDIA GeForce graphics... I could go on, but I might start drooling. With some .edu email address awesomeness, I got a good deal on it, WITH Office 2010. Yeah. Office 2010 is like 200 bucks. Yeah. Don't even think about questioning my awesomeness. HA.

Oh, and remember how I was stressed about Skyrim? Yeah, this computer is going to kick Skyrim's scaly dragon tail. Ya wanna know the best part? Toshiba laptop + HDMI cable + HDTV = 32 INCHES OF SKYRIM AWESOMENESS. (Again, best roommates ever.)

On another note, got asked on a date by Mr. Butler. Yeah, he's in my ward. Yeah, he's my home teachers' roommate. Yeah, they promised me they'd find some guys to date me. Yeah, I'm ridiculous.

But seriously, I want to do stuff and meet people and I totally admit I don't like asking guys out. Today at work Mr. Lindy Hop, How I Met Your Mother, and umm.... my other coworker (code name TBD) were talking about dating, and marriage, and my mission, and I realized that part of my reason for wanting to date a lot of different guys is so that I don't find 'the one.' Because the idea of finding 'the one' (okay, there's no such thing as 'the one' but I have nothing else to call him right now) before my mission freaks me out. I am not ready to be married. I want to be ready, oh my gosh I want to be ready, but I'm not mature enough. I'm NOT one of those girls who's going on a mission to postpone marriage, but one of my more selfish reasons for wanting to go is so I can GROW THE HECK UP. It's a bigger reason than I'd like to admit, but the more important reasons are the real reasons. 

Growing up is just a bonus.

36 days.

Weird.

I MEANT to post yesterday. I promise I did. But by the time I thought about it, it was already technically 'today,' so I figured I'd wait until I was a little more coherent.

Conference today was great. The reality is starting to hit me that, if I keep going the way I am, I'll have my mission call next Conference, and be getting ready to leave. It's crazy. Like, blow my mind.

My date with Mr. How I Met Your Mother (he needs a better nickname) was fun. I had a good time, truthfully and honestly, but I don't really see it going anywhere. That's mostly because of the mission... I don't see anything going anywhere with anyone.
"That's a lie," you think. "What about Cupcake Boy?" Yeah... he continues to confuse me. We talked again at Dessert Night (our ward doesn't have 'ward prayer,' for reasons beyond me) and all I could think about was how bad I want him to ask me out again. Homecoming is this Friday (I know, I know!) and I would actually really like to go. With Cupcake Boy. Yep. I said it.

Okay, I admit it, there may be a small part of me that's simply interested because he's cute and we had a good time. Oh wait, isn't that, like, a good motivation for interest? But seriously, I want to go out with him again, and maybe even again, until either interest or disinterest is decided. (Mostly on my side, I know, selfish, right?) Isn't that THE POINT of dating? I mean, maybe he isn't interested, but if he wasn't, he could've, you know, NOT gradually sidled his way over to me, or, you know, NOT initiated conversation with me... I feel like I've shown a high enough amount of interest that if he didn't reciprocate at all and wanted nothing to do with me that he would shun me like a leper. Perhaps not. I still don't know when it's acceptable to send the "Hey, so, I was just wondering if we were going to go out again sometime" text. According to a guy in my ward (still haven't decided if he merits a nickname yet...) a week is not too long, because the guy doesn't "want to seem like a creeper." OKAY, um, unless I made it completely obvious I wasn't interested, it is never too early to ask on the second date. Maybe at the beginning of the first date, but since that obviously didn't happen, we're kinda past the phase of creeper-ness.

UGH.

On a completely different note, one of my very most bestest friends got engaged yesterday and I am SO FREAKING EXCITED! When she called I screamed for probably a full minute. She deserves it. She's dated some dumb bums. And, yeah, they haven't dated SUPER long, but he is a seriously amazing guy, and she is a seriously amazing girl, and I think they'll work out just fine.

She's getting married and I'm going on a mission. For some reason I always thought it would be the other way around.... But you know what? I very much like it this way.

Whoa. That feels weird. (Good weird.)

"Roomies."

I freakin' hate that word. It's one of those super tacky words that people use all the time. It BOTHERS ME. And I know it shouldn't.

You know what else bothers me? Facebook relationship statuses. Other than 'married' or 'engaged' I think they are even tackier than the word ROOMIE. But I hate not knowing if a guy is dateable or not............

Okay, moving right along. Did I tell you about Mr. How I Met Your Mother? He's a friend of my coworker (the same one who gave me the 'ask and ye shall receive' tidbit) who came in the other Wednesday, and we ended up talking pop culture for like, an hour and a half. Avatar, Firefly, Community, Robot Chicken Star Wars, Skyrim, Halo, and WOW were all discussed, among other things. Anyway, I wasn't flirtatious or anything, but it was one of those things where I was like, 'I think to this guy I might seem like the trifecta... so why didn't he ask for my number... or something?' But of course, because he's a guy, and I'm intimidating, he didn't. 

Fast forward to today at work. I think Ben may have mentioned something to Himym, (I had expressed a, 'Seriously, why don't guys like that fall at my feet? Do they think girls like me exist in great supply?' to him. That sounds REEEEEALLY arrogant, but I think I can confidently say that I am not ugly, and I'm definitely a nerd, so... what more do they want?!) because in he walks. I showed him my freakin' awesome shirt ("Also, I can kill you with my brain") and we chatted for a bit. And then he said, "What are you doing on Friday?" Oh my gosh, am I getting asked on a date? "Um... I dunno... school/work/football..." "Do you want to go to Red Robin?" Holy crap. Yes, I am. "Yeah!" Because let's be honest, who doesn't like getting asked out by a guy she can be a total nerd around? I'm not saying that this kid is my soulmate, but I miss having someone to geek out over video games and Star Wars and Lord of the Rings with. I have a feeling that this date is going to consist of the nerdiest conversation I have ever had, and I am thrilled.

I love being a nerd.

And not this kind of nerd -

She is not a real nerd. Or at least, I highly doubt it. Putting on big glasses does not make you a 'nerd'.

THIS kind of nerd -

Because she probably spent a ton of time making that freaking incredible Zelda costume.