Flood.

Okay, so some updates.

1. My beloved Bronco is pretty much toast. The transmission is just about to go, and when it goes, that's the end. I've already spent a lot of time crying over it. Right now I'm driving what I not-so-affectionately refer to as 'the Death Trap,' which was generously lent to me by my grandparents. It's a tiny little piece of crap truck that I don't really fit in (neither does Chris); it's loud, has the worst windshield wipers on the face of the earth, and let's not even mention the brakes that squeak so loud that people five blocks away know when I'm home. Sigh. My parents decided I should get a 'new' car, and that process has been EXTREMELY stressful and frustrating, and has been put off a lot by another lovely development in my life, which brings us to...

2. My mom has cancer. I don't remember the whole scientific-y name for it, but it's a rare subcategory of non-Hodgkins lymphoma that is (thank the Lord) extremely treatable, dare we say "curable." She has a pretty big tumor in her chest that has the consistency of cotton candy and it's growing pretty rapidly, so the doctors think that chemo will be very effective. (That's something I learned - chemo affects the fastest-growing cells in the body, which is why you lose your hair.) I'm hoping so, because she's suffering a lot. The tumor has paralyzed one of her vocal chords which has made it so her throat can't close, which means she coughs a lot because of the mucous running down her trachea. It's awful. She also has to sleep with oxygen because her left lung is at about 50% capacity and she's short of breath a lot. She also can't really eat much because of the vocal chord thing (plus the tumor is pushing on her throat too) so she's always hungry. Plus she itches, all the time, which is just kind of like adding insult to injury. It's really frustrating for me because it's not something I can go beat up for messing with my mom. But she's the strongest woman I know and she'll beat this thing right outta the ballpark.

3. Not that it was going to happen anytime soon, but now this means that for sure there will be no wedding in 2012. My mom said we can't get married until she has hair, which I'm completely okay with. My mother's streak of vanity runs in me as well, and I know that she would hate being bald in her baby girl's wedding pictures - and I wouldn't exactly be the biggest fan of it either. Short hair, I can handle. It can be like, "Oh, look at how great my mom looks after kicking cancer's ass!" rather than, "Well here's my mom in the middle of chemo, something we don't really like remembering." Okay, okay, so I'm sure that by reading that you're assuming that things are going really well with Chris, and you are 100% right. He is so fantastic and wonderful and I just... mmm! I love him! We spent the weekend with my family at the cabin and it was super fun. He even won major points with my mom when he took care of my little nephew Jason (and even got him to stop crying/put him back to sleep- IT'S THE WARM HANDS). I'll admit it, watching him fawn over a baby was super adorable. Babies really aren't my thing, so it's good to know that he likes them enough to handle them when I go completely crazy and can't stand them anymore. In, you know, like, ten years. (When I off-handedly mentioned that, my mom said, "Really, you think it'll be that long?" Yes, mother, I don't want children in med school. And besides, that means you'll get a bigger time span with babies to squeeze!)

4. I think I decided to go back to school for sure. I don't know. There's just... ugh. I just. I hate college. But part of me knows I should just suck it up and do it.

5. I still need a vacation, even though I haven't really done much in the past... three months... Sigh.

I'm so stressed out that my period is late again, which is stressing me out even more. (Not that I have any reason to stress over that, I just don't like it when my body isn't doing what it's supposed to. Which is actually does a lot...)

Kimberly.

Remember Kim, from my previous post? The one whose leukemia came out of remission? Well, she went home today. Real home. Even though we weren't super close, I will miss her cute smile and her fun personality. But I can guarantee you that heaven is very happy to have her back. Love you sweetie!

On a less sad note, it's April Fool's Day, which (in contrast with last year) I am not digging. So many people are pretending to get engaged... ugh. Brandon's prank on his brother was awesome (I won't go into detail, but I can assure you the delivery was perfection, Dill totally bought it!) but Daniel's attempted prank on me this morning (at eight! It was early!) did not get bought so easily.

Good note. I have (YET ANOTHER) horse. Only this one I think will be my actual boy. He's the sweetest boy on the planet. His name is Ryder and he's a fifteen-year-old bay Mustang. Yes, MUSTANG! Woot! He's super patient and has a really expressive face. He hates hoses but loves to be groomed. He's not such a fan of sugar but he LOVES carrots. He would much rather be outside and he tends to be more of a Mustang than he should be sometime. (IE he's not as obedient as he should be.) But he is SO cuuuuuuuuute. I can't wait to take pictures of that cutie pie and put them up on the internets. I love him. I feel like he loves me too but of course I don't know. He definitely trusts me. Gosh I love him. He's a big beefy horse but he's just a sweetheart. Whoa, I just realized... he is Brandon in horsey form... I love my big sweet men. :) He doesn't get taken care of much, but I am taking him under my wing and making him my baby.

Anyway, life is pretty good. I love the barn, I love the sun, I love The Biggest Loser, and I love being lazy!

Cancer.

Such a scary word. One that you never want to hear anyone saying following the words "I'm sorry, but you have..."
And one of my dear friends, Kim Nelson, has heard it twice. Her leukemia, in remission less than a year ago, is back.
It really puts things into perspective for me.
Sure, I have no job and no way to pay for school or pay my rent or buy food, but I'm healthy. I don't have cancer. I don't have to go through the complete hell of chemotheraphy.
So what right do I have to complain?
Not that I'm saying I have, but I can promise you now that I won't. While I fight for the life of my dreams, beautiful, sweet, energetic Kim fights for her LIFE.
Things can change in the blink of an eye.
Never take anything (or, most especially, anyONE) for granted.
EVER.

I don't care if you don't believe in my God or in any God at all, but please keep Kim in your thoughts and prayers. I believe that there is a God, and that He will hear even a brief flicker of love towards a girl you may have never even met. Every little thing counts.


Keep running Kim.