Imploding.

I am a dirty rotten liar. I know I've said probably a million times that I don't want to get married until I'm 25, but that is complete crap. I want to be married so bad. And okay, this will seem dramatic but I'm not so sure it's going to happen, at least any time soon. My heart is caving in on itself and I am at a complete loss as to how this happened. What did I do? Why didn't I see this coming? Why wasn't I more careful? I'm so tired of this.
Don't worry, this won't turn into a bitter diatribe- it hurts too much. I know, I know, it was just ten days, but was I wrong to hope for more, or even expect more? I'm not going to call him the biggest jerk on the planet, because he's not. He's pretty close to the exact opposite of a jerk, and I'm not just saying that because I may or may not have started falling completely and unashamedly in love with him, but because his not being a jerk is one of the things I was originally so attracted to. I only wish he would've thought a little more in the beginning; he could've saved us both a pretty big amount of heartache. But it's water under the bridge now.
I hate to be dramatic, but I really am not sure I can take a whole lot more of this.