Blood.

So... I have to go get bloodwork done today. Well, I don't have to, but I was supposed to do it on Monday. So. Yeah. Anyway, I HATE needles with a burning fiery passion, ugh, so much, I HATE THEM! I am definitely not looking forward to this. At all. No, no, definitely not. I keep dragging my feet because I just do not want to go. Yeah, I know, quit being a baby and just go get it done.
Okay, I'm going. No I'm not. I'm going to go, just... later.
I'm also trying to decide if I'm going to go to the barn today or not. I think my poor car needs a rest... and so does my body. Horses are a lot of work! I mean, I'm okay with a lot of work, but I'm darn near dying here. Tomorrow. And Friday. For sure.

UGH! I HATE NEEDLES!

Firework.

I love this song, but not the original.

The Mike Tompkins version.

Cuz baby, you're a firework.

Mad.

Just, mad.

I HATE YOU FLORIDA GATORS!

You beat up my Jimmer.

Although, it was due to our weakness that I have been complaining about ALL SEASON LONG that we let so many of their shots get in - our defense needs an overhaul, desperately. Especially if we're going to maintain any semblance of greatness now that Jimmer is gone. ~sniff~ We never stick to our guys, and somehow always end up in a giant blue or white blob right under the basket, as the three Mr. Completely Unguarded over there just shot goes sailing through the hoop completely uncontested...

Sigh.

Rebounds and tight defense, I've been saying it all season. Get it under control Cougs. I'll be watching you next season. Let's hope Steve-o gets some more PT, seeing as how he's the best rebounder on the team...

Do you think I should write Dave Rose a letter?

Madness!

So, it's March. One of my favorite months of the whole year. And, as with every year, there are always upsets. For example.
#1 Pitt losing to #8 Butler in the second round. Whoda thunk? That automatically takes my sister-in-law Olivia out of the running for the grand prize, because she picked Pitt to win it all. Ouch.
#12 Richmond and #13 Morehead St. battling it out in the second round. WTF? A twelve and thirteen seed? How did that happen? (That counts for two upsets.)
Other than that, not a whole lot going on. #11 VCU beat #6 Georgetown, but that was to be expected - the Hoyas always choke in the tourney. And I mean always. Last year I had them in my final four - huge mistake. (They lost in the first round, as usual.) The year before that I had them in my sweet sixteen. (They lost in the first round, as usual.) Finally I figured it out this year and I was glad I did. Although I just can't let go of those stupid Commodores. I had them in the sweet sixteen this year. Dumb move. Oh well.
My brother (who I momentarily claimed was no longer my kin) picked BYU to lose in the first round to #14 seed Wofford. YEAH RIGHT. Even I have faith in my Jimmer. Well-placed faith, since they're in the sweet sixteen for the first time in what feels like ages. I'm hoping it's not too well-placed though, because I have them in my final four. (I can't not, they're my Cougs!) If they make it, which I think they legitimately do have a shot at, even without Davies, I will be one happy woman. Even just to make it to the final four is huge! Heck, being in the sweet sixteen is pretty great too. Having Pitt out of the way will make things... a little easier, but I have a feeling that the Butler Bulldogs are out for BLOOD. Then again, so are we. Too long we've been pushed aside and ignored for being in the lamest conference ever. Too long we've been treated like less because we're a religious school and we have an Honor Code. Too long we haven't triumphed where we should have.
ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY COUGARS!
I'm stoked.

March.

This is a poem my lovely brother wrote about our favorite month, and though there are a few things I would change, I have to say I pretty much agree with everything.
Without further ado, I give thee.....

ODE TO MARCH

Of all the months that I like best,
There is one that stands above the rest.

April is great, with its Masters and all,
How I love watching Phil, when he is striking that ball.

May is alright, though devoid of good sporting events,
At least there is good weather, so I can go camping in my
tents.

June brings the U.S. Open, so it’s not a bummer,
Most joyful of all, it’s the beginning of summer.

July is beastly, with its heat and humidity,
Watching Wimbledon and the Open, I yearn to be in the
British Isles, you see.

August is for baseball, mostly a bore I must say,
At least there is usually a vacation, to take me away.

Then there’s September, with football in full swing,
My, oh my, the joy it doth bring.

October is pretty, as the leaves start to fall,
But it’s also when the Cougars start fumbling the ball.

November used to be filled with anticipation of Holy War,
But now games against the likes of Idaho will simply be a
bore.

December is for bowl games against inferior foe,
Now Vegas will make the Poinsettia Bowl seem low.

January is cold, with winter in full effect,
But at least there is plenty of basketball and bowl games,
on which I can reflect.

February is lame, for the Super Bowl I couldn’t care less,
Greedy owners, over-paid athletes, and lock-outs, my, what a
mess.

But March, oh March, my what a delight,
When cold turns to warm, and darkness to light.

Old man winter, no longer to stay,
Then all my worries seem to flee away.

The flowers and buds seem to burst from their slumbers,
And oh how anxiously I await to hear the bracket numbers.

And then, when that special day is finally here,
Me, myself, and I begin to break into cheer.

Hoping my delusions of grandeur will come true,
For Jimmer, Jax, Dave and his crew.

And now, to park on my couch I must go,
To cheer on my teams against their various foe.

March, oh March, she stands above all the rest,
And here’s to the Cougars as they face their ultimate test.

March, oh March, and all of her history,
Hoping she’ll lead my Cougars to victory!!!

By Eric Stephen Jewell

Jon.

So, there's this guy...

Lol, don't worry, this is not me admitting my undying love for this person. Anyway his name is Jon, and we've been friends for like... six years. We got really close my sophomore year of high school, and then he went on his mission, and I moved to Provo, and life happened, and we just don't talk much anymore. Anyway, yesterday I texted him to see if I could tag along with him to church. Obviously, being Jon, he said of course.

And, being Jon, he somehow weaseled almost everything out of me. I think I may actually be getting to the bottom of this. (This being... everything.)

And, being Jon, he made me feel completely guilty yet very hopeful and optimistic at the same time. I don't know how he does that.

But his hugs... they sure help.

74.

That's how many days I have to wait until I get to return to my most beloved Aspen Grove.

Yesterday, when I got the call with the job offer, I almost passed out. I was so excited when I got offered MY JOB (the split!!!!!!!) that I almost didn't answer her. I was freaking out, to the max. I still am freaking out, to the max.

ASPEN GROVE!!!!!!!

Halle-freakin-lujah. I love Aspen Grove. Everything about it. Even the cleaning days. Because let's face it, every job needs a downside. And learning how to make the most beautiful hospital corner known to man is not really a downside. I'm just lame, and have to complain about something. But right now, I don't even care! I WANT to go clean, like, now. I wanna pull linens and vacuum and clean toilets and mop showers and OH MY GOSH I'M GOING BACK TO ASPEN GROVE!!!!!

Sorry, I'm really excited, can you tell?

I guess I should explain why I love Aspen Grove. First off, I love the job itself. Ropes course and lifeguard. It's the perfect balance. Not so much pool that I get sick of it, but not so much ropes course that I stay white all summer. (Yeah, I'm shallow, what can I say?) I get to know two separate groups of coworkers really well, and bond with them. (PS One of my best friends in the whole universe got a job lifeguarding. His name is Scott and we are going to have the best summer ever.)
Second off, the setting literally cannot be beaten. Absolutely gorgeous. I love the mountains, especially these mountains, and nothing makes me happier than being in them.
Third off, the people who work here are always top-notch. (I'm not sure I am, but whatever.) Wonderful people from BYU who are all fun and fantastic. Gosh, I'm so excited to meet this year's staff. YEEEEEEEE!

Sorry, I'm just really excited.

Ouch!

Today I fell off a horse for the first time in probably ten years. (That makes two in twenty, I think I'm doing pretty well.) I was riding Bey Magic, and he was a little bit jittery because I didn't have a chance to lunge him to get him un-hyper, and he had obviously not been ridden in awhile. (He was shedding like I have never seen a horse shed before, it was CRAZY.) So, with four horses in the arena and one of them jumping and one of them ridden by Char, who hasn't ridden since she was nine, I kept it pretty chill. Walk, trot, let's do some little swizzles for funsies. I feel like I'm really starting to get what Rachel's been drilling into me since November. It's great. So, when the other two horses left, feeling all confident and such, I decided that Bey and I wanted to do some cantering. Yeah, I've never cantered on Bey before, other than that one time accidentally... So, for the first little bit we were okay, we probably made it once around the arena before my right stirrup decided to slide to my heel. Okay, it was my fault. But anyway, we made it around the arena a couple more times, with me pretty much only using one stirrup, and trying not to fall off, and trying to slow him down, but being unsuccessful. Because about our second time around, he decided to buck. Yeah. So, finally, about the third time around the arena I finally lost my right stirrup, and as I was losing my left stirrup I bailed. It hurt. Char was like, "Are you okay?!" and I said I was, which is completely true, because I was, just a little owie. So I brushed off my bum and moved quickly over to Bey, apologizing profusely for being such an idiot and panicking and pulling on his sweet good mouth and letting my heels come up. (My heels which, wonderfully enough, had spurs on - my legs are not strong enough to give Bay the leg cues he needs, but spurs are wonderful. I'm not saying cowboy spurs. I'm saying these kind of spurs.)

Nice spurs. English spurs. Anyway, while clinging to him desperately with my legs, I'm sure he was getting lots of spur action, meanwhile I'm pulling back on his reins like "Whoa!" I'm sure he was thinking, 'You crazy lady! Don't tell me to go and stop at the same time!' In his good grace though, he just nuzzled my face as if to say, "Apology accepted. Just don't do it again, crazy lady." So we walked back over to the mounting block and we went for a couple turns around the arena at a super loose rein and a nice walk. All in all it wasn't bad, I definitely learned that I need to realize that I am not as cool as I think I am. Which isn't a difficult realization for me, because I'm really not that cool and I don't even think I'm that cool. I just don't ride enough yet. Which is depressing. You'd think after 15 years I'd be pretty dang good...
Sigh. My bum hurts. Well, actually, my pelvis hurts. Like, tramp stamp area. And below. Yeah. Ouch. Other than that though, the only thing that hurts is my pride.

Headaches.

They won't go away.

I would wager that most of you have never experienced a quite lovely phenomenon known as 'VR Sickness' or virtual reality sickness. It is pretty much identical to motion sickness when it comes to symptoms, but it is crazy uncomfortable.

I wouldn't necessarily call myself a 'gamer' but I will admit that I play a pretty fair share of video games. I steer very clear of MMO's (massive multiplayer online) because I know straight up that I would get addicted and never stop.

Anyway, the point is, I know what VR sickness is like. The worst game in the world for me is BioShock. Oh my gosh, that game destroys my brain. Five minutes in and I'm running out of the room trying to keep my insides on my insides. Needless to say, I never bought BioShock.

Right now, I have VR sickness. Really bad. But I haven't even looked at a video game in days. Seriously. But my head is killing me, I feel dizzy, my hands are shaking, and I'm scared to yawn. I'm more than slightly worried. When I close my eyes, the world starts to spin.

The thing is, this has been pretty common lately, and that has me really worried.

The headaches are the worst... and they won't go away.

Abstract.

Misguided Ghosts.

I am going away for a while
But I'll be back, don't try and follow me
'Cause I'll return as soon as possible
See I'm trying to find my place
But it might not be here where I feel safe
We all learn to make mistakes

And run
From them, from them
With no direction
We'll run from them, from them
With no conviction

'Cause I'm just one of those ghosts
Traveling endlessly
Don't need no roads
In fact they follow me

And we just go in circles

Well now I'm told that this is life
And pain is just a simple compromise
So we can get what we want out of it
Would someone care to classify,
Of broken hearts and twisted minds
So I can find someone to rely on

And run
To them, to them
Full speed ahead
Oh you are not useless
We are just

Misguided ghosts
Traveling endlessly
The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away
And there's no one road
We should not be the same
But I'm just a ghost
And still they echo me

They echo me in circles

-Paramore