Boise.

Where's a map?

So, I'm going to Boise with Bre. She needed someone to come with her, and I wanted to go see Brandon, so it worked out nicely. And I have to say, even though it has been made very clear to me that nothing is going to happen, I am absurdly excited to see that boy! I mean, come on, he is my best friend after all. Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know.

Also, I'm sorry I've been AWOL for a while. I've been working a lot and moving and running around like a chicken with its head cut off. But for the most part, I've been feeling pretty good.

Great news though! (I'm pretty sure.) I'm still on probation, which means I get to stay at Aspen Grove for the summer, AND stay at BYU in the fall!!!! Unless I end up deciding to go to South Africa for a horse internship... but I suppose we'll have to see. The craziest thing is, my mom is actually like, supporting the idea. It's kind of weird. But anyway, here's the link. http://wildcoasthorsebackadventures.yolasite.com/volunteer-program.php

I NEED TO SLEEP! So, good night world.

Canter.

Today I had a really lovely lesson on Bey Magic. And I sat the canter for the first time in my life. Yeah, I know. How on earth did I ride jumpers without sitting a canter? Two-point. That's all I did, was ride two point, the entire time. When I told Rachel, she was not pleased.

This is what riding a canter in two-point looks like. Your legs are shock absorbers. Yeah, it's COMPLETELY different to sit a canter. It's weird. It feels so much faster than it looks! I feel like such a noob all of a sudden. But I think, with a fair amount of lungeing, I'll get the hang of it. I just have to think about sending my tailbone to the ground. When we throw reins in there, ohhhhhhh boy. That's going to be a challenge. But I want it. I want it so bad. I want to be a beautiful hunter rider.

Isn't that just lovely? I am a huge fan of the gray show coat. I'm pretty sure I'm going to go with gray. His mane isn't braided, which I think is LAME because even though they take forever, hunter braids are the most beautiful thing on the planet. (And, if that were me, and that were Ryder, I wouldn't want his mane obscuring my face! I want to look at those pictures and see my face and think I am the awesomest thing to walk the earth.)

This horse has hunter braids. They are SUPER DUPER HARD, but they are so gorgeous. 

Anyway, back to the canter. It looks so much easier than it really is. But I literally cannot wait to get more. And more. And more. And MORRRRRE!

I. Love. Riding.

Horrible.

So... Have you ever heard of Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog? If not... you are sincerely missing out.
Nathan Fillion sings.

Ryder.

My little munchkin.
I call him the greatest horse in the barn, but he admittedly has his moments of... ungreatness. He is not a fan of being inside. Such a mustang.
But I love him more than words can express. He is the sweetest, cutest, most lovable guy on the planet.

And I really, really, really love this picture of us.

Moving.

On the whole, I don't particularly mind moving. I like moving into a new place and making it mine and whatnot. What I hate is moving out. It's such a pain, like, seriously, especially for lazy people like me. I'm relatively organized, at least in a system that I understand, but it's just frustrating.
I don't want to stuff my life into a bunch of boxes and tear apart what I built for myself.
It's like laundry, or showering. I don't really want to do it, but as soon as I do it, I feel much better. Okay, it's actually nothing like those two. Because I don't feel better after packing. I just feel lonely. Empty. And I'm always the last one to leave, so I usually have some abandonment in there.
Yes, I know, this post is depressing and unhappy, but I'm a little on the depressed and unhappy side. First night without Brandon = weird and lonely. Even when we weren't doing particularly anything, we still were together, enjoying each others' company. And it is so obvious to me that without him I have no social life, besides my horses, that it kills me.
I have so much going on this weekend. I have work from 9-4 (yeah, like a real job!) then I boogie back to Provo to shower and get ready to drive to Layton for the workshop with JAKE GARN (he's this photographer I completely idolize). After I soak up some of his genius, I get to drive home and pack... Yay... I'm going to try and get as much packing done as I can so that when I actually have to move I don't have much to deal with. There's just so much stuff. I have so much stuff, it's astonishing to me. I'll probably have to do laundry in there somewhere, then my parents are coming to pick up my big stuff and come to the barn to meet my best friends in the universe. Somewhere after the barn, I'm going to come home and finally do my last bits of homework, write pleading letters to my professors apologizing and begging them to pass me, and get as much of my to-do list done as I can. Then comes Sunday, which is going to REALLY be crappy without Brandon. It makes me hurt just thinking about it.
Then comes a week of... what? Working... cleaning... packing the last scraps of life I have at my place... Selling back textbooks... Trying to shake my feeling of constant icky that settled on me months and months ago. Heck, maybe even years and years ago.
Sigh. Here we go.

Hurt.

So, today Brandon went home to Boise, and I feel like someone punched me in the chest. I'm honestly not sure I've felt so awful in a long time. I love him and I know he loves me and I don't know if that makes it better or worse. Last night when I couldn't keep myself from crying he cried too. A guy has NEVER cried saying goodbye to me before. It broke my heart. I didn't want him to leave. I don't want to stop dating him. I want to keep seeing him every day. I want to hug him and hold his hand and not ever let go.
I hate this.

Sprinter.

So... Today is April 9th. One month to my birthday. And it's freakin snowing. What is up with that? I was supposed to go riding today, but apparently the canyon is a mess so I bagged it. But seriously this weather is retarded. It's warm, then it snows. Then it's warm again, then it snows again. I'm tired of it! I want it to be warm so I can play with my horsey and so that he'll FINALLY shed out... I swear that horse is a hair factory!
Anyways, I want spring for real.

Nebraska?

So, to add freaky to the freaky, remember how I JUST BARELY said I thought it would be cool to be a professional groom instead of going to college? Yeah... registered for the heck of it as a potential employee on Yard and Groom (http://www.yardandgroom.com/) and within hours heard from this barn about this job http://www.yardandgroom.com/jobs/united-states/nebraska/working-student/17465. Yeah. Seriously. Like, potential job offer already.
I'm FREAKING out.
I'm thinking... can I do that? What about Aspen Grove? What about school? What about... yeah, what about it? I've said before and I'll said it again that school can wait. There is absolutely nowhere written in the guidebook of life that I, Jennifer Jewell, must graduate from college before the age of 22. (Which, by the way, is not happening.) BYU is always going to be here. But Joya de Andalucia? I'm not particularly sure that's an opportunity that's going to stick around.
Obviously, it's not like I'm seriously considering this job or anything (yet!) but it's definitely on the table. I would learn SO MUCH about horses and it would be so incredible. I'm just... this is just... yeah.
I'll keep you posted.

Registration.

So, today (or rather, yesterday, since it's technically Tuesday now) I registered for fall semester. I'm only taking 12 credits but it felt like a ridiculous amount of work to register for them. I'm taking Dance 280 (yay! I love social dance!), both of the ISYS classes (bleckkkkkkk), Doctrine and Covenants, a Rec Management class that I can't remember the name of, and a careers class. At least, I think that's all of them. Overall it really doesn't seem like too hard of a semester but I've got to be honest, this whole not going to school thing is really floating my boat. Granted, in the real world I can't just go to the barn and play instead of working or going to school or whatever, but I would be perfectly happy to clean tack or shovel crap or whatever as a job. Professional groom? My parents might think that's a lame loser job, but I think it sounds freaking awesome. Especially because I could be good at it. I feel like horses tend to be drawn to me. That could just be desperately wishful thinking, but part of why I spend so much time at the barn is that I want to get horses. Sometimes I feel like I'm on top of things and sometimes I feel like a total idiot. Generally whenever Rachel is around I feel like a total idiot, but it's not her fault. Compared to her, I am a total idiot. I'm getting there though. Thanks to people like Sally (LOVE HER!) and the internet, and of course, the horses, I'm getting the hang of things. Slowly but surely. We'll get there, maybe by the time I die.

Kimberly.

Remember Kim, from my previous post? The one whose leukemia came out of remission? Well, she went home today. Real home. Even though we weren't super close, I will miss her cute smile and her fun personality. But I can guarantee you that heaven is very happy to have her back. Love you sweetie!

On a less sad note, it's April Fool's Day, which (in contrast with last year) I am not digging. So many people are pretending to get engaged... ugh. Brandon's prank on his brother was awesome (I won't go into detail, but I can assure you the delivery was perfection, Dill totally bought it!) but Daniel's attempted prank on me this morning (at eight! It was early!) did not get bought so easily.

Good note. I have (YET ANOTHER) horse. Only this one I think will be my actual boy. He's the sweetest boy on the planet. His name is Ryder and he's a fifteen-year-old bay Mustang. Yes, MUSTANG! Woot! He's super patient and has a really expressive face. He hates hoses but loves to be groomed. He's not such a fan of sugar but he LOVES carrots. He would much rather be outside and he tends to be more of a Mustang than he should be sometime. (IE he's not as obedient as he should be.) But he is SO cuuuuuuuuute. I can't wait to take pictures of that cutie pie and put them up on the internets. I love him. I feel like he loves me too but of course I don't know. He definitely trusts me. Gosh I love him. He's a big beefy horse but he's just a sweetheart. Whoa, I just realized... he is Brandon in horsey form... I love my big sweet men. :) He doesn't get taken care of much, but I am taking him under my wing and making him my baby.

Anyway, life is pretty good. I love the barn, I love the sun, I love The Biggest Loser, and I love being lazy!