Wednesday, May 30, 2012


Okay, so some updates.

1. My beloved Bronco is pretty much toast. The transmission is just about to go, and when it goes, that's the end. I've already spent a lot of time crying over it. Right now I'm driving what I not-so-affectionately refer to as 'the Death Trap,' which was generously lent to me by my grandparents. It's a tiny little piece of crap truck that I don't really fit in (neither does Chris); it's loud, has the worst windshield wipers on the face of the earth, and let's not even mention the brakes that squeak so loud that people five blocks away know when I'm home. Sigh. My parents decided I should get a 'new' car, and that process has been EXTREMELY stressful and frustrating, and has been put off a lot by another lovely development in my life, which brings us to...

2. My mom has cancer. I don't remember the whole scientific-y name for it, but it's a rare subcategory of non-Hodgkins lymphoma that is (thank the Lord) extremely treatable, dare we say "curable." She has a pretty big tumor in her chest that has the consistency of cotton candy and it's growing pretty rapidly, so the doctors think that chemo will be very effective. (That's something I learned - chemo affects the fastest-growing cells in the body, which is why you lose your hair.) I'm hoping so, because she's suffering a lot. The tumor has paralyzed one of her vocal chords which has made it so her throat can't close, which means she coughs a lot because of the mucous running down her trachea. It's awful. She also has to sleep with oxygen because her left lung is at about 50% capacity and she's short of breath a lot. She also can't really eat much because of the vocal chord thing (plus the tumor is pushing on her throat too) so she's always hungry. Plus she itches, all the time, which is just kind of like adding insult to injury. It's really frustrating for me because it's not something I can go beat up for messing with my mom. But she's the strongest woman I know and she'll beat this thing right outta the ballpark.

3. Not that it was going to happen anytime soon, but now this means that for sure there will be no wedding in 2012. My mom said we can't get married until she has hair, which I'm completely okay with. My mother's streak of vanity runs in me as well, and I know that she would hate being bald in her baby girl's wedding pictures - and I wouldn't exactly be the biggest fan of it either. Short hair, I can handle. It can be like, "Oh, look at how great my mom looks after kicking cancer's ass!" rather than, "Well here's my mom in the middle of chemo, something we don't really like remembering." Okay, okay, so I'm sure that by reading that you're assuming that things are going really well with Chris, and you are 100% right. He is so fantastic and wonderful and I just... mmm! I love him! We spent the weekend with my family at the cabin and it was super fun. He even won major points with my mom when he took care of my little nephew Jason (and even got him to stop crying/put him back to sleep- IT'S THE WARM HANDS). I'll admit it, watching him fawn over a baby was super adorable. Babies really aren't my thing, so it's good to know that he likes them enough to handle them when I go completely crazy and can't stand them anymore. In, you know, like, ten years. (When I off-handedly mentioned that, my mom said, "Really, you think it'll be that long?" Yes, mother, I don't want children in med school. And besides, that means you'll get a bigger time span with babies to squeeze!)

4. I think I decided to go back to school for sure. I don't know. There's just... ugh. I just. I hate college. But part of me knows I should just suck it up and do it.

5. I still need a vacation, even though I haven't really done much in the past... three months... Sigh.

I'm so stressed out that my period is late again, which is stressing me out even more. (Not that I have any reason to stress over that, I just don't like it when my body isn't doing what it's supposed to. Which is actually does a lot...)

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